silver_rose86: (Strength)
I spent a short period hanging out with Bel today.  I found, what I've slowly been finding recently, that I just don't care anymore.  I don't care about my former 'friends' at Medieval Times, I don't care about the Clover, I don't care about the pirates who don't care about me.  It's not an easy feeling to come by.  For many friends I felt duty bound to give them a few more chances, others I just couldn't let go of.  Now, I just don't have it in me to care about those that don't care about me.  I don't have the time or the energy to waste on them. 
I have a lot of good in me. I'm a loving person, I'm talented, I'm loyal.  All that energy needs to be spent in a way that's beneficial to me, though.  I also need to feel like me.... and waiting for my 'friends' to finally get around to remember their my friend is not who I am.  I have new people in my life who do care.  More than that, I'm remembering how much I care about me.  I miss singing, I miss dancing, I miss getting up excited for the day, I miss creating works of art because the world inspires me so much.  I'm going to continue being cautious, I've learned my lessons well, and no one is going to be able to take me away from me again.
I'm free.
Now it's time to find a decent job, find a vocal coach, get in shape, find a place to express myself and my music, and start living like me again.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2008-08-23 05:41 am (UTC)From: [identity profile]
I am in fact free Tuesday-Thursday as of now. ^.^

Date: 2008-08-25 01:40 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile]
I briefly took a look at the link you sent me for four quarters. I'll take a longer look if I ever log on at home, I had never heard about it before.

I'm thinking that I may want to meet you someday as well. :) You seem pretty cool and interesting from the comments I've seen you leave to our girlie girl here. :)

Date: 2008-08-25 01:41 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile]
I am sitting here raising a glass to your self discovery. It's hard lessons to learn and realize. Especially for those of us who put ourselves forward, and wear our hearts on our sleeves. It's hard to let go.


silver_rose86: (Default)

April 2012

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